Choice Theory is a psychological model which aims to explain human motivation and behavior.
It was originated by the American psychiatrist, Dr William Glasser, based on his experience dating from the 1950s right through to this century – his final book was published in the last decade
Choice Theory is about relationships. With others, and with ourselves.
It is a method of trying to understand ourselves more effectively and to make more informed choices about how we behave and it is a method for trying to understand the perspective of others and to make more informed choices about how we behave in all of the relationships that we are in – whether that is one to one or in the many groups that we find ourselves part of in life from families to friends to classrooms or teams at work, in formal or informal associations, clubs, and sports
There are four different components to the model; 1 - our motivation system of our basic human needs and 2. the things that we want that meet these needs for us, 3 our Behaviour and 4 - the way that we Perceive things. In all training courses I introduce these separately before demonstrating how they combine as one system .
I wrote this recent review of Mental Health Awareness Week at YouthLink Scotland.
In many ways, last week was no different to any other across the youth work sector with the usual kindness, connection and collaboration to support the mental health and wellbeing of young people and youth workers clear for all to see. It was also another week where the necessary creativity and innovation was demonstrated across digital platforms to ensure that the usual variety of activities were delivered and one to one and group sessions held as we continue to adapt our working practices during COVID-19.
What made the week special was that it was Mental Health Awareness Week, and the theme for 2020 was kindness.
I wrote this blog for YouthLink Scotland for Mental Health Awarness Week - https://www.youthlinkscotland.org/news/may-2020/taking-care-of-our-mental-health-and-wellbeing-during-covid-19/:
Our mental health and wellbeing officer Sean Humphreys talks about how we can take care of ourselves and others as we continue to adapt to life under lockdown.
Whether you are reading this as a young person, a youth worker or an organisation that works with young people, you may be feeling scared, worried or anxious right now. You might also feel sad, flat, detached or numb. Maybe you will feel none of those things but are noticing the impact of COVID19 in another way. If so, then you are human.
The results of the recent Lockdown Lowdown survey, which we worked on alongside our partners Young Scot and the Scottish Youth Parliament, certainly show that a lot of young people are not feeling okay right now. And young people are not alone in this. Whoever you are, if you are not feeling okay then you are certainly not alone.
Recently at Edinburgh Helping Hands, we have started making a series of videos as part of our plan to support ourselves and those around us as we adapt to life during COVID 19. A variety of different subjects are covered and are available on Twitter, Facebook and the You Tube Channel.
Some of the videos that I have made so far, on mental health and wellbeing, are below:
I recently too part in a piece of partnership for YouthLink Scotland, along with Young Scot and CAMHS. A copy of this is below:
Young Scot put your questions about looking after your mental health and wellbeing during 'lockdown' to two experts.
Cathy Richards, the Lead Clinician and Head of Psychology at CAMHS and the CAMHS advisor to Scottish Government.
Self Care for Mental Health and Wellbeing during COVID-19
If you are feeling worried or anxious, numb, then you are human. There is no such thing as a 'normal' way to feel, particularly during difficult times. One of the only things that we can be certain about right now is that this is a time full of uncertainty.
But we can also be certain that there are still many things that we can do to support ourselves and others
This is Self care.
The only thing that we have any control over is our actions, right now. Supporting oursleves and others to take action to stay well has never been more important.
I am very much looking forward to being part of the next Policy Hub Scotland Conference - Mental Health and Wellbeing Resilience in Boys on March 17th at the COSLA Conference Centre in Edinburgh. This is such an important topic and I will presneting on the power of community, alongside Pauine Scott, Ross Deuchar, Graham Goulden and Suzanne Zeedyk.
For further details and to book a place: https://policyhubscotland.co.uk/events/building-resilience-in-scotlands-boys-conference/
There are so many examples of fantastic work being done to support the mental health of children and young people right across the youth work sector in Scotland every day. There are also lots of great examples of youth workers and volunteers supporting each other. At YouthLink Scotland, we know beyond doubt that #YouthWorkChangesLives.
Connecting with others, talking and listening, are the foundations for mental health and wellbeing. Being there for others and offering support (whether that is to young people, our colleagues, friends, team mates, class mates or family) really makes a difference. But it is not always easy to find a way, and even when it is, learning new ideas is always good – especially when they are fun!
Today is Time To Talk Day 2020, led by our Mental Health and Wellbeing partners SeeMe Scotland. It is a chance for us to think about the conversations that we are having with the people that we connect with in our day to day lives, wherever that may be. Conversations really count. Words really matter. Talking and listening helps. That is why the theme of the day is ‘Choose Talk, Change Lives’.
For some ideas on how to get started, check out the posters, cards and other conversation starting resources available which are all based around the game that you will probably know; ‘Would you rather’?
My favourite is ‘would you rather miss a penalty or talk to a team mate about mental health’? I know what my answer would be, and that is not only because I have missed a penalty (or two) in my time!
Happy New Year to you all – An update from NowCounselling
Firstly, I wish you all the best and hope you are going well so far in 2020!
I am delighted to confirm that I will once again be leading weekly Mental Health and Wellbeing Support Groups for men in North East Edinburgh starting on Friday 31st January based at the Ripple Project. Referrals come from Community Link Workers who are based in local GP surgeries, as part of the successful Social Prescribing initiative driven by the Scottish Government, NHS, local surgeries and third sector organisations. Participants will learn about stress and the impact it has on all of us, and ways to manage this positively so that anxiety, depression and other health problems can be improved.
I am also delighted to say that I will once again be delivering the training programme for the new intake of Alcohol Counsellors who will be joining the 50 year old institution - Edinburgh and Lothians Council on Alcohol - from February onwards.
Meanwhile, I am leading three groups of students through the 2nd level of the internationally recognised qualification in Choice Theory (trauma informed relationship based psychological framework), Reality Therapy (the application to a therapeutic setting) and Lead Management (the application to an education, workplace or personal environment). The students are based in Edinburgh, Midlothian, West Lothian and Liverpool, so if you are in the those areas and are interested and wish to connect then please let me know. Following two successful courses last year, I am also in the process of connecting with some people who have made enquiries about taking part in the first level – a Basic Intensive Workshop – later this year. If you are interested in finding out more about this opportunity then please get in touch.
An article I wrote for Edinburgh Helping Hands
Mental health and wellbeing is a subject that is appearing in discussions more and more. Conversations are happening. From community hubs to cafes and classrooms, from shops, warehouses, offices and meeting rooms to playgrounds, parks and pubs – a topic (and I believe that we should be talking about it as one topic rather than separating mental and physical health) which is integral to every single human being in the world is appearing more regularly than ever before in one to one discussions, group chats, formal presentations, written articles, documentary films, drama productions and across social media output.
I am very much looking forward to speaking at Lets Talk: The Tweenage Years - Teenage Brain, Mental Health and Wellbeing at an event for parents, care givers, teachers, youth workers and anyone else in the lives of young people.
I will explore topics such as the various stages of development and the impact on young people and those around them, the additional impact of stress and any childhood trauma, and what can be done to support young people on their journey to adulthood.
The event will be held on November 23rd at Linlithgow Academy, West Lothian, Scotland and is part of the Scottish Book Trust's Scottish National Book Week.
For further information and to book tickets:
If you are not already aware, I am delighted to share with you that I recently joined the team at YouthLink Scotland, for 3 days per week. This will combine very well with my other work, which currently includes leading an internationally accredited Basic Intensive Workshop in the psychological model of Choice Theory and the application to counselling or counselling skills relationships (called Reality Therapy). The course also includes practical applications in education and leadership in the workplace (Lead Management). This is based in Midlothian, Scotland and I am also facilitating the follow on course, a Basic Practicum, with a group in Edinburgh. These are steps 1 and 2 of 5 in becoming a qualified practitioner.
I am also currently doing one to one counselling and one to one and group supervision work for counsellors and those who use counselling skills in their work, such as project workers, healthcare professionals, teachers and managers.
I am also very much enjoying leading a self care for mental health and wellbeing group for men at The Ripple Project in Edinburgh (@RippleRestalrig), as part of the NHS social prescribing Community Link Worker programme.
For further details of training, supervision, coaching and counselling options (all trauma informed and skilled) and availability or to make a booking with NowCounselling, please get in touch.
Another important area of my life that is giving me great enjoyment is being part of the team of volunteers at Edinburgh Helping Hands (@EdiHelpingHands). For more details of how to get involved by volunteering or supporting the work with a donation, for details of the variety of support on offer for people and communities, or all of the above - visit https://solidaritynotcharity.com/
Interested in learning more about self care for your mental health and wellbeing?
Ever tried mindfulness or meditation? If not, the first steps are easier than you think.
All you need is yourself!
Take just a few minutes - outside is ideal but not essential - where you feel comfortable and safe and where there is a good chance that you won't be disturbed.
Think about putting all of your thoughts on pause, other than those related to what is going on for you right now in the world around you. There is lots of information available to your senses right now, more than you may feel consciously aware of, and you can choose to observe some of it.
Choice Theory Basic Workshop running in Midlothian, Scotland - places available for September 2019
Plus Basic Practicum group places available and news about other courses and services:
Following the recent NowCounselling Basic Instensive Workshop in Edinburgh on the psychological model of Choice Theory (which is primarily about understanding self and self care), Reality Therapy (the application of this in a counselling setting) and Lead Management (the application of the psychology in a counselling skills setting such as support work, medical professions, teaching - indoors or outdoors, sports and management), I now have a course booked for September 2019 (Monday 2nd, 9th, 16th and 23rd) with places available - the cost is £350. If you would like to discuss further details or to register interest in a place then please get in touch.
This is an opportunity for a useful and valuable personal development experience, as well as continuous professional development should that apply to your situation. It is also step 1 of the UK and internationally recognised (https://www.wgi-uk.co.uk/ and http://www.wglasserinternational.org/) qualification as a Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management practitioner (denoted by the initials CTRTC after one's name).
Following the recent NowCounselling Basic Instensive Workshop in Edinburgh on the psychological model of Choice Theory (which is primarily about understanding self and self care), Reality Therapy (the application of this in a counselling setting) and Lead Management (the application of the psychology in a counselling skills setting such as support work, medical professions, teaching, sports and management), I now have a small but growing number of people - based in and around Edinburgh, Midlothian, West Lothian and East Lothian - who are interested in doing the course so I am planning to run another one towards the end of this summer, likely in September. If you would like to discuss further details or to register interest in a place then please get in touch.
This is an opportunity for a useful and valuable personal development experience, as well as continuous professional development should that apply to your situaion. It is also step 1 of the UK and internationally recognised (https://www.wgi-uk.co.uk/ and http://www.wglasserinternational.org/) qualification as a Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management practitioner (denoted by the initials CTRTC after one's name).
Step 2 is the Basic Practicum: I am running a group with current students at the moment in and around Edinburgh, which involves a combination of approaches to study including distance learning, self study, set practical work, reading, other assignments and group meetings. Through a process of guided self evaluation, the students will progress on to the advanced stage of the programme (stages 3 and 4). If you would like some further information on this or to register interest in a place (entry requirment for this is completion of stage 1 - a Basic Intensive Workshop) then please get in touch.
These courses provide an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to develop the relationship with self. This is also the first step towards being in a position to connect more deeply with others, whether that be in working relationships or personal relationships. Self care is a key theme throughout and all NowCounselling courses and services involve the opportunity to learn important and useful mental health and wellbeing techniques and tools for self management from essential moment to moment self regulation to deal with the stress we can all face in every day life, to strategies to manage the impact of more complex difficulties caused by trauma, to important and easy to impliment steps towards feeling fitter, healthier and more energised.
I also offer one to one and group counselling, coaching or mentoring to support you with personal or professional issues and deliver one to one and group psychologically informed supervision if you are a counsellor or therapist or use counselling skills in your role - including if you work in a role that involves interacting with colleagues and the public and if you are a leader of a team, group or organisation.
Self Reliant Groups - Dream Big
'Would you like an alternative future compared to the life that you have now?
A future where you feel more empowered, in more control of your life and more connected to your community?
An SRG could be the next step for you.
Never Give UpPositive mental attitudeNever give up - I have got a target to hit so let't hit it.
Two incredibly powerful pieces of self talk. Mantras that we can all use to improve how we take care of ourselves for the purposes of mental health and wellbeing - self care. Words that can help us achieve what we want to achieve from moment to moment, that lead to us achieving what we want to achieve from day to day. Words that help us build a collection of days when we achieve the goals that we want to achieve, that lead to the weeks and the months that provide us with the feeling that all human beings strive for. Happiness, satisfaction, contentment? Choose your own word which best describes for you your mindset when you achieve your feeling that you derive from a sense of purpose.
They are the words of Andrew Jones (@Andy_Jonesy) who I interviewed recently in Edinburgh. One of his targets for that day was to complete the Cramond five kilometre Park Run (@parkrunUK). This was part of his training for his longer term goal of completing a half marathon, which he is set to do in Chester this weekend (@chestermarathon), all part of his overall goal of maintaining successful self care and living healthily. He has been training hard, eating and hydrating well and the results were clear to see in the slim and healthy looking figure I saw before me as he reflected on another successful run to take his weekly total comfortably above thirty kilometres whilst finishing his falafel and salad wrap, washed down with some more water.
For Andrew (37), a successful businessman from Ellesmere Port, this was another normal week. However, just over nine months ago, his normal was very different. He was around three and a half stone heavier and was much more likely to have been eating chips or a kebab, washed down with some more beer. He 'could not run a kilometre without stopping', and most significantly of all - he has been diagnosed with a kidney function of less than 16%. Such was the state of his health, he had reached the point where his target at that point had come down to, in his words; 'longevity of life'.
For the father of two (Rosalie 9 and Danielle 11) and husband to Stacey (@Stace_Jonesy - also 37), his life had reached a cross roads. He was faced with a clear choice. He could keep walking the path that he was walking, and stumble towards a bleak future, or he could start to take steps in a different direction and begin to walk a different path. The choice may sound like an obvious one, but obvious does not mean easy.
"The mind is what drives a human being, if you have that belief - pure belief in your heart - that you want to be successful then you can talk to your mind and your mind will control you to be successful.
"My mind is always free. My mind is flexible. That is why I wear this band on my wrist.
"I want to show the world that you can go beyond your thoughts, you can break more than you think you can break".
Ahead of this year's London Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge talked about the importance of the power of the mind, and the connection between action and thought, as featured in this BBC article https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athletics/48055305
Mental health and physical health are often discussed and dealt with almost as completely seperate components within a mechanical machine. As I have written about extensively in previous articles and as I cover in detail in the various NowCounselling training courses that I design and deliver, I believe that they are completely overlapping and interlinked. I believe that overall health and wellbeing is a complete machine, a machine which is more computer like than mechanical.
I very much enjoyed facilitating a Basic Intensive Training course in Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management for a group of counsellors in Edinburgh recently at the St Mungo's Ministry Centre.
We began by exploring the components of the psycholgical model of Choice Theory - perception, Basic Needs, wants (Quality World) and Total Behaviour - before discussing how they combine to form a dynamic and simultaneously occurring behavioural system.
We then spent time exploring how this psychology can inform practice as a counsellor (Reality Therapy) and improve relationships as a manager, teacher, coach and also as family member or friend (Lead Management).
The group successfully completed the 3 day course which, as well as being a valuable self care and continuous professional development experience, is the first of 5 steps towards becoming a qualified Reality Therapy practitioner.
For further information on doing a course like this or to book a place with NowCounselling, we look forward to hearing from you.
Stay Steady Striving
This week's article is dedicated to the life of Bradley Welsh. I was fortunate enough to have had the chance to get to know him in recent years and observe the inspirational impact that he had on so many people, not least through the work he did at his community Holyrood Boxing Gym and the organisation that he co-founded - Edinburgh Helping Hands: https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/helping-hands-make-a-difference-1-4723317
Thousands of people shared tributes last week on social media, and this was mine on Twitter:
'Difficult to find words to express the sadness today. It was a privilege to work alongside him @EdiHelpingHands + enjoy so much time @holyroodboxing and just spend time with one of the kindest men I have had the fortune to know. The world has lost such a hero'.
A little over one week on, the sense of sadness and the impact of this loss continues to sink in.